I know I know, It is awfully early in the week to be awarding anyone "bad mom of the week", but since I was so terrible all day yesterday, I HAVE to hand out this dubious award on a Tuesday.
FIRST and foremost- let me explain how badly I LOATHED the idea of getting out of bed yesterday morning. But I did it. I got everyone ready, by this I mean, I had to keep my head crammed up everyone's ass until they conpleted the same morning agenda of tasks that we have done every morning of their lives. I also took the dog outside ( so that he could get the minimal amount of piss out if his system to ensure that he could save some----to piss in my house later-----DAMN, I love that dog), I half assed got ready myself,although didn't pack my lunch---then headed out the door (late, of course). I was inches from being at work when I got the call from the male spawns' school. I allllllmost didn't answer, but that would make me a terrible mother.
I answered to the sound of my kid sounding extra convincing about how hurt he was.
Male Spawn: "Mooooooooommmmm?"
(WHO the hell else answers my cell phone in the morning while I am on my way to work?) I wanted to say this but I didn't
Male spawn: " I sprained my finger and it hurts really bad"
ME: "uhhhhhhhhhh.... OK..Tape it up and go back to class?"
Him: "They can't tape it up. It's really swollen"
ME: "WHAT? They can't tape it up? Alright, *BLEEEEEP* I'm on my way"
so much for enjoying my cuppa starbucks.
I can't believe that these shit bags actually let my kid call me for a sprained finger?? At this point, I call our insurance advice line, thinking "Okay, maybe things have changed since i was a kid and they can actually do something about a sprained finger these days..." after my 6 minute hold time they told me what I already knew...there ain't a damned thing they can do with it.
So at this point I show up to the school (pissed) and the chick at the front looks at me stupid- so I go on to explain why I was there and she says "Oh, hold on, he was just calling to see where you were because you only live a mile away" hahahahahaha....
go *bleep* yourself.
Well let's see, considering I have a job, much unlike the other scrapbooking, cupcake baking, tree huggers here in suburbia, I was actually---- WHAT???? ALMOST AT WORK....
My kid comes over, and I see the finger.
The thumb to be exact.
I almost broke it myself. There was NOTHING WRONG with the finger. He jammed it playing basketball.
ARE you shitting me? These people let my kid call me, so that I could drive alllllll the way down there, they let me sign him out for a jammed FINGER???? THIS is what is wrong with kids these days!!!! My mom would have drop kicked me IN the office right there if I had called her at work to pick me up for a jammed finger. My mom probably would have had the balls to slap the broad at the desk too, but that's another blog post.
So, I end up an hour and an half late with a cold $4 latte because of this crap. I understand that at some point, someone got mad because the school didn't call them when their kids jammed their finger. so the school got in trouble, so unfortunately, the rest of us have to deal with this typa crap. Those people shouldn't be allowed to breed. I should have been at work sucking down my lovely latte and my kid should have been sent back to class. You won't always be able to call your mommy to come and kiss it better.