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Thursday, October 20, 2011

SMILE! It's picture day and your mom is a having a BIPOLAR PSYCHOTIC BREAK!

Picture day---Most of us have a few of those old school pictures left laying around somwhere. We have missing teeth in first grade, crazy hair in 5th grade, jacked up clothes from that "GOTH" phase in high school- We won't even TALK about my eyebrows in 11th grade- I was like an extra in "Mi Vida Loca". The issue here is that at some point, picture day has turned into this parade of parents trying to prove that they are a better parent than everyone by absorbing themselves into yet one more piece of their kids' existence. Well, PTA Princess, you're ROBBING your kids of the utter humiliation of the school photo. YOU suck. I need to share a couple of examples with you.If you can relate to any of these, then you suck too, and I don't know how you found my blog.
One parent sent her kids picture package back with a note that said;
"Need Re-takes, you made her neck too long"
WTF did the picture company have to do with making your kids' neck? NEWSFLASH! The picture company had absolutely NOTHING to do with you and your significant other breeding long necked spawn. Put a scarf on her and send her on her way.

Then there is THIS little girl who "Practiced in the bathroom by turning the lights on and off really fast so that she could be ready for the flash!" Uhhhhhhhh..... there is a practice ritual for school pictures??? MAYBE you should go practice reading and writing.

And Finally,  my personal favorite-- of all time. A little boy at one of these overpriced, stuffy, daycare centers- OH wait, sorry,---they call it preschool now. He sits down, takes his photo, (remember I said pre school) and when he asks if he can see it, he looks and says "I want to re-take it. I feel as if I look like I am repressing anger"
WELL HOLY SHIT Eeyore! Why don't you go eat some worms? I sure hope your mommy and daddy like you because, with an attitude like that, nobody else will. GEEEEEZUS. C'mon people!!! It's not that serious. It's ONE photo. In the land of digital photography and photoshop, let them have one memory of who they were at that moment in their life, not who you wanted people to think they were. Who GIVES A RATS ASS if someone else thinks your kids eyes are squinty or neck is sticking out, let them be them. If you want re-takes FINE. but blame yourself, not the camera.

1 comment:

  1. Haha! Well, my kids did retakes and I didn't even need to see the originals. Their dad had them picture day and he never makes them brush their hair before school and puts them in clothes that are too small and stained. Call me hoity toity but that's not how I send my kids to school and didn't need that representation in their school pix book I made for each of them. Oops! Is that considered scrapbooking? Does this mean I have to stop reading your blogs? Damn! ;)