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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Guess what I heard? ....I'm a bad mom....????

So it has recently been brought to my attention that I am a bad mom.

Well then.... THANK YOU----  Captain Obvious....

Really though--- the reason for the observation from some "Judge Judy's" was solely based on the fact that  "I never post any pictures or anything WITH or ABOUT my kids.".

Well, SHIT!! If I don't post it on Instaface, then I MUST not be doing it!!  Well then Sugar Shorts! come here...I have a little something to whisper in your face.....

Ready?...


Fuck off. Yup.... GO fuck yourself.

I can barely remember to grab my keys and my purse when we go places, let alone prep myself for 80 selfies.
Not that I owe anyone any explanation for my non-photo posting ass, but, just for shits and giggles,  let me enlighten you to a few reasons why I don't post every single moment of our lives on the world wide web.

#1. I don't want to. .

#2. I don't give a shit what people "THINK" about how my family spends quality time together. Maybe we're tripping old ladies and taking candy from unsuspecting babies, it's none of anyone's fucking business.

#3. Here's why IDGAF---  I work.... a lot.... and when I am not working in the office, I am working at home, being a terrible mother. My time with my family is just that--MY time with MY family. That's the way I like it. I don't want to be worried about my lipgloss, or if my hair falling right, etc... (which we ALL know is what happens when taking 84 selfies before approving one that is instaface worthy).
I just want to be with them- doing whatever we're doing.  I'm not saying it has to be everyone's cup of wine but, I don't give a shit. When I feel like stopping and taking a photo to share with the world, you'll know-- don't assume that but just because I haven't put myself out there on blast with 112 pictures of our trip to the grocery store, that we didn't go to the grocery store. I have done my time in John's incredible pizza, bitch! And it WASN'T pretty....

(This little "list of reasons" was going to be a whole lot fucking longer but my wine was going to get warm).

SO- with that being said, I don't care if you do want to instaface your life, that works for you- and if we are friends, I enjoy checkin' that shit out (and if we hate each other, then I REALLY enjoy checkin' out the shitty stuff.) because I don't get out much- we probably wouldn't see each other until we were 60 if there were no instaface....so I appreciate that you share! I, unfortunately suck at that, so suck it.

for the most part, I try not to judge-- BUT---- There is ONE exception to the "do Whatcha want" rule. THIS my friends, is a PET PEEVE for good ol' Badmomdotcom....

 The parents that don't do a goddamn thing- EXCEPT post  pictures.

THe one's that don't contribute to any of the ACTUAL parenting in any way, but BOIEEEEEE, when they see that fucker for 5 seconds....ITS BLASTED ALLLLLLLLLLL OVER INSTAFACE!!!

 Do they ACTUALLY talk to each other during that time, or was the whole encounter a photo shoot? You know what really gets my goat, are the dumbasses they praise them for it!!!!!! WTF??? I didn't see that bitch post "HEY!! Worked 60 hours this week to make a deposit into the college fund!" or "HEY!! We were up until 3 AM working on the midterm project that that was 90% of their grade for the 3rd time this year" OR how about "had to run out for tampons at midnight because she woke up and thought she was dying"????  Here's a good one--- had a fucking heart attack when the school called....Let's just say, I had to leave work  and he has a couple of days off..." The actual parenting part.
The countless hours every day spent washing their clothes, prepping their meals, waking them up in the  (7 fucking times), tucking them in (yesssss...even the big kids), dropping them at school, checking their homework, smelling their breath to make sure they brushed their teeth, standing in their bathroom and watching them because they didn't, Dr. appt.'s,dentist appt's, holy shit the list goes on and on.
THEN---- These MOTHER FUCKERS BLAST all over about what fabulous parents they are!!

WTF? Did that just happen???

Well...my friends, sadly....it does---every day...and UNFORTUNATELY, there ain't SHIT you can do about it. Trust me, the struggle is real.... you just have to sit back and wait patienly for about 25 years for them to figure it out...It blows. Doesn't mean you can't get pissy about it from time to time, but don't waste a botox injection for it.  But GODDAMN its annoying, isn't it?... That's all!  OH, and hey---- did you hear???

The pumpkin spiced latte is back. ... WINNING!!!!!