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Wednesday, December 14, 2016


So So So So sorry my friends- badmom needed a little time refresh! (some say break the fuck down and lose your shit...I just simply say...refreshhhhhhhhhh)  This parenting and adulting shit is HARD.... LIKE HARD, HARD...? ya know?

SO- I'm just gonna jump right back in so that things aren't awkward, you cool with that? :0)~ 

This little ditty is  in response to a come to Jesus that an internet phenom fat-shamer recently posted....Ms. Maria Kang! the "No excuses" size 0 shit talker? (google it) Long story short, she was a pageant princess @ 16, had a couple kids, (still young) stayed skinny until age and life got the best of her and she went from fat-shamer to the ultimate "embrace your curves" spokesperson. Basically, what this means, is --- small victory my friends! YUP! A  Judge Judy has eaten her words because experience slapped her on the ass with a couple of extra lb's and some dimples and said...suck on that. I, for one, am proud of her for owning that shit! You go Maria! 

You know what? ...... FUCK THAT!! Let's stop an applaud her for a moment.....


This little come to Jesus got me thinking about all of the Judge Judy's and how it must SUCK to live up to their own expectations?  I only know how much it sucked to live up to mine (when I had soooooo FUCKING MANY OF THEM)!! was EXHAUSTING! 
Well, my friends! There is nothing quite as eye opening as Karma...and, I mean it. There is nothing like getting injected with a dose of reality that you never even knew existed to snap your ass to the place you needed to be anyway. 
Badmom has had an interesting year to say the least. EVERYTHING I thought I knew about Life and kids, and people in general, has been eradicated!! HO-LY SHITBALLZ. 

Back to the fat-shamer!...Honestly(ashamed to admit)--- I used to do a little (lot) of this. YUP- Worked my ass off to be a size 6- I was hungry, angry, tired and hungry..did I already say that?...Well,  in my defense, I was pretty hungry...
I take it ALL back. 
Every... single... word. 
There's nothing quite like that 35+ year old, stress induced, child bearing, working your ass off, hella tired now,  metabolism to snap your sorry unsuspecting ass back to reality! She's about a FUCKING BITCH, IDN'T SHE? HOLY SHIT?!?!?! 
I have often struggled with the grape or raisin theory. I am no spring chicken anymore... so, do I want to plump up a little bit and have amazing skin and no wrinkles, or do I want to kill myself at the gym and starve to death (not really) to look like a raisin.... Well much like our favorite WWW. fatshamer, after much deliberation, I have decided that somewhere in the middle is the way to go. 

I've decided that a good compromise is this: talk shit about my fat ass and I will punch you in the face! I know- I'm working on it! You're lucky I'm not hungry right now! 

 There you go! Happy fucking medium right there! 

If I can offer any little bit of "advice" (<-- I HATE that word....just so ya know...but I can't think of another one right now) The fact is, we all have good days and bad days. There's gonna be wine and chips and there's gonna be yoga & hummus.  I am okay with being ALIVE. not just breathing...but truly being alive. If badmom has learned ANYTHING at all in the past years its this:

Life is short...and, no matter how hard you try,  you can't control hear this my friends. Do the best you can- The best you can is good!!  It's never going to be enough for everyone- but who gives a SHIT? it's enough for someone.... I promise. Hold your head up, whether you're a size 2 or not or whether your make the best mac and cheese or the best reservations, OWN it. OWN you.  NOBODY is perfect. I know it's easier said than done- and it's even harder in a social media, minute by minute update kinda world. But it's also important to understand that we are all fighting our own battles....we are all winning some, and losing some. :) Do what makes you happy. Be your own version of happy and healthy. :) Remember this: You're no good to anyone else until you're good to yourself. 
Cheers to a prosperous 2017 and all of the blessings that fucking come with it, sunshine <3 ... and don't forget to smile (when it's real):) ...oh and breathe....'cause breathing is hella important. :0)~ 


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