Search This Blog

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Too soon?....or is it....

DAMMIT I hate clutter.
I take that back.
 I hate clutter in plain view. Hidden clutter is okay.
So why is it that my refrigerator looks like Dorothy should be clicking her heels together and someone should be looking for me to be crushed underneath it? Even deeper than that, why can't I just grab my "cajones" and clean it off?
As one of my facebook friends so eloquently put it, "When is it too soon to take down all the CRAP on the refrigerator"?
I don't have a good answer for this. Although, ever since she posed this question, I can't seem to take my eyes off of this cluttered mess.
Thank you, by the way.
Here's the thing. These fuckers KNOW, I don't know how--- but they DO. If you even happen to change the magnet that's holding up their math test from 3 years ago, THEY  KNOW....
but they truly can't remember that they need to brush their teeth every morning? Or grab their backpack on the way out the door? God FORBID you move the 487th stick figure drawing so that you can hang a Dr.'s Appt. reminder or something important. They fall apart! Can't find their shoes   But HO-LY SHIT, stop the FUCKING PRESS---  they can see a missing C+ math test from the top of the stairs down the hallway to the left!
"Where's my pilgrim essay?"
Ummmmm... probably in your 2nd grade school box.........
'Cause your in 8th grade now.
 Items bearing substance have no place in the hierarchy of the refrigerator display. You have to catch them off their game. When they're distracted, you can start by removing the paper from the veeeerrryyyyyback of the shit pile. One by one, you have to pick them off. It doesn't stop here people, you have to pick off the magnets too. If they see a free magnet, THEY WILL OCCUPY IT. This is a gradual process--- and you're not going to win them all.
At the end of the day- I don't have a fool proof resolution to this age old battle. I haven't won it yet. I can promise you though, that I try to find ways to de-clutter the "museum of repetitive art" that is my refrigerator, every day. The idea of accomplishing this without conflict seems difficult, not impossible, but "throwing away the binky" difficult. Good luck friends and if you happen to accomplish this without giving up and saying FUCK IT (kinda like the cowboy boots and tu-tu's to the grocery store). Please share. Millions of desperate clutter freaks NEED your wisdom.

No comments:

Post a Comment