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Saturday, January 26, 2013

PUNISHMENT.... Trust me when I say "this hurts me more than it hurts you"

UGH..... So who else feels like when the kids are grounded, YOU'RE grounded.

Let's face it, you can't send them to Grandmas because we all know how that ends. they have a 42 inch flatscreen professionally hung on the wall and a brand new X box because....well.....
 "grandma needed to buy one anyway"..

This blows. I've been grounded to the house for 2 weekends straight because the male spawn got a couple of bad grades.
Trying to explain that the whole ---- "You being grounded SUCKS ASS for me" is impossible. He honestly thinks I enjoy this shit...... UMMMMM....  I'd rather get shot in the face.

When kids are grounded they will find ANY POSSIBLE reason to get "yard time".

for anyone who doesn't understand this phrase---- It's when someone is in jail/prison and they are allowed out in the fresh air to enjoy the general activities that normal people take for granted- ( me included....there's nothing I love more than locking myself in my dark house and enjoying doing nothing)

So I have inadvertantly heard the guitar portion of Hotel California and some Elton John song 14hundredfuckingtimes...
Why, do you ask??
Because he has "Guitar Class" and practice is "homework".
So... the male spawn is grounded... and once again, SO---AM----I-----
yes, again.... apparently he doesn't know the Academic FUCKING alphabet... F is BAD...
so he goes through 80 different emotions....... PER HOUR.
Anger, love, sadness, etcccc...... He hates me, loves me, every other second!!!! WTF!!???

LOOK Man!! I don't understand you!! I need some directioN!!! do you need the most recent issue of Playboy??? Do you need longer shower time??? I Don't get it!! I am so lost...
How do I be an authority figure and a confidant at the same time?
 Holy shit... This is a fucking roller coaster and it SUCKS. Could we PUHLEASSSEEEE  just go back to loving spiderman and eating dirt ...... pretty please?

IN light of allllllll this drama--------- Let me tell you what scares me more than anything....
Everyone has told me since the beginning...

"there's nothing like a teenage girl"...

WTF???Are you shitting me??? There is something worse than this,,,, RIGHT NOW?????? OMG!?

I can't even IMAGINE what is coming....what road lies ahead???? I mean, nobody warned me about teenage boys!

well, they did, but it was all about closed doors and long showers....

 but they didn't explain THIS SHIT! I have  gained 10 LBS and increased my alcohol consumption 110% since he entered his teenage years...

I think I am going to need a fucking real estate agent to help me start scoping out mental hospitals if teen girls are any worse than this.  SERIOUSLY.

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